Smile First

Judgments. We can't get around them, but we can learn to look beyond them or reframe them altogether. I think it's important that I do or I will miss out on knowing some pretty amazing people in my world.

My kids and I have been talking about the kind of judgment they feel from some people after they decided to experiment with appearance and clothes. Three of the four of my kids have dyed their hair and the fourth is my son who refuses to cut his hair. All of them are eclectic dressers, each experimenting with their own wacky style. Abiel is the most perceptive to the energy of judgment directed at her. Do people with tattoos, dyed hair, unusual piercings, black clothes, mismatched clothes, hippy clothes, business suits, work out clothes, cowboy clothes, etc make you decide you already know what they are like? Or does the person you're judging just respond to your judging energy with defense, therefore affirming what you assume in the first place?

I don't know. Stereotypes are there for some reason. I'm not saying they don't hold a smidgeon of accuracy. And certainly we can come from the other angle and try to understand what image a person is trying to portray with their clothes or accessories and why (socially acceptable or not). But that's for another post.

Several people simply do not want to follow the crowd. They are in search of the authentic self through expressive avenues of hair color, style, body art, or clothing. You might miss out on wonderful human beings because of judgment. If you smile with acceptance at my daughter, you will be received with a warm hello and an intelligent conversation that probably contains more 5 syllable words than you've heard in a month. If you look away in judgment because her hair is red, assuming she is a punk teen in an identity crisis, you will be losing out on a friendly interaction with a delightful person.

Try smiling before making the judgment. You might be pleasantly surprised.