My closest relationships feel messier than ever. I cannot do the work to make them better. I'm empty. Not only do I have no ability to fix things, but my minimal threshold of stress coupled with my bent toward anger and yelling seem to be making everything a whole lot worse. I was reading through old Locke Adventure Updates I've written and came across this. It was applicable Oct. 20, 2014 and it's applicable right now.
I was having coffee with a friend when a beautiful little girl about 5 years old in a colorful sundress came bounding into the coffee shop with her daddy. She was talking and bouncing and full of joy. Her daddy handed her a full milkshake and the giddy joy continued . . . for a minute. And then the milkshake crashed to the floor. Loud sobs echoed through the coffee shop almost as quickly as the cup hit the ground. And though, sadly, this young daddy could not do a very good job of comforting his devastated little princess, I immediately knew EXACTLY what my Daddy is doing for me as I look at the milkshake on the floor and sob my eyes out because I've made a big ol' mess . . . again. He gets on his knee, cups my face in his hands, looks me directly in the eye and says, "This mess is no problem. I love you and we're ok. You're beautiful and you're mine." And then he holds me close until I can stop sobbing and says, "Let's try this again, " and hands me another milkshake.
Sometimes I'm handed 3 in a day. Sometimes, I manage to hang on to that thing for awhile. But whether it's a mess or all contained neatly in my cup, my Daddy is in love with me and we're ok. Heath and I need to work things to resolution when I drop the milkshake, but Daddy and I are ok.
I'm taking a deep breath and relaxing into Daddy's arms knowing I'm loved no matter how much milkshake is sticking to the floor tonight.
Love!
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