Pre Trip Doubting

I have loved the idea of traveling since I was a child.  I started traveling in college.  My passion to explore the world, meet new people, learn new ways of living has only blossomed into beautiful reality for me.

Except the week leading up to leaving my family is never fun.  I'm hoping it will get easier as the kids get older, but for now. . . it's just plain miserable.  So the view from the window of my soul this evening was one of bickering kids, a silent husband, and thoughts running through my head like, "Is this really worth it?  Maybe it would be better to just bag it all and wait to fly after the kids are gone."

But I will keep packing.  I'll take my last child on a date tomorrow and look her in the eyes, tell her I love her more than anything and I'll be back before she knows it.  And in the end, I hope all my kids will watch their mom be brave in following her dreams and living out what she is created for and find courage within themselves to do the same.  But that is my hope.  My view.  I can do all I can to love and communicate their worth in a way that their view will not be one of feeling abandoned or second to my passions.  My children are certainly part of my destiny but not the whole of it.  And I have a deep confidence that God is saying this is the time to start flying.  So I will trust.  I will rest.  I will try to get some sleep tonight.

One more day!