Happy Thought

"Let us be grateful to people

who make us happy:

They are charming gardeners

who make our souls blossom."

- Marcel Proust

Quote of the Week

"Writing is a powerful search mechanism,

and one of its satisfactions is that 

it allows you to come to terms 

with your life narrative."

-A Memoir by William Zinsser

Song of the week

I love this song! LIVE LIFE. It's the musical summation of my last few posts. 

Enjoy and LIVE LIFE.

Beautiful memories

All of us experience pain, physical and emotional. Our stories are different. Our responses vary. Sometimes, if there are too many painful memories, those can block out the beauty that is or has been. I have my fair share of painful memories. I've struggled living in them far too often. Back in June, sitting on the beach for a week alone, I decided to dig up some of the beautiful memories and put them at the forefront of my mind. "Where are my beautiful memories? I know they're in there somewhere."

Since June, I've had an increased mindfulness of things that resurrect my beautiful memories. My kids, obviously, are helping in this process as they passionately pursue what they love. Today was another beautiful moment of memory resurrection.

Asher and Ella and I had a sleepover with some of our dearest friends. This morning, I was watching my friend make breakfast and her father in law came riding up on a horse. We went out to chat with him about a morning ride. As he rode away, you can guess what happened. :) Everyone went back inside and I stood, heart wide open, tears falling with the beautiful memory of watching my dad ride horse. For many years of my childhood, we would go to my grandparents' farm every Sunday after church. Many of those Sundays, my dad would take me riding. I loved it with every fiber of my being. I felt alive on that horse. . . every time. I still do.

Today, I want to say thank you to my parents for the beautiful memories they helped create for me. Horses, hiking, camping, music lessons, trumpet, reading to me, singing me to sleep. These were beautiful moments in the formation of my person. I am so grateful. Thank you for exposing me to these life giving things that continue to inspire vibrant living in me today.

Dreams Relived

Mary Lou Retton. She was my idol. I was Mary Lou, coached by Bela Karolyi, cartwheeling around my living room on a blue blanket doubling as the floor mat. My little brother was the judge holding cards that, of course, had only 10's on them.

Today as Ella bounded around the gym on the balance beam and trampoline, older girls flew through the air practicing their floor routines. I didn't even hold back the tears.  I was transported to 1984 with all the feelings of my first grade heart bursting forth.

Flash backs of Mary Lou Retton sticking her famous vault with her radiant smile and the pleasure on Bela Karolyi's face flew through my mind. If I could actually turn my head yesterday (the pain was back in full force due to a freak tweak), I might have run out on that floor and tried to do a few flips myself.  

Monday evening, Asher had his first saxophone lesson. The sounds of students squeaking and pounding their way through lessons, welcomed us inside the studio. Music was a GIGANTIC part of my life growing up. I struggled through piano lessons, came alive on stage when I sang solos frequently in church, joined choirs, took voice lessons, and at Asher's age, started playing the trumpet under the direction of a band director who saw a potential Wynton Marsalis in me. Not really. But he did push me, and Wynton Marsalis was my hero.

After the lesson, standing in the lobby, I glowed as Asher chatted to the owner about how much he loves John Coltrane and the saxophone and his new instructor. Again, tears leaked out. I was right back in fifth grade, my smile glued from ear to ear, sitting in the gym alone during lunch with my band director who pushed me to greatness. I was so alive playing music (or whatever was coming out of that trumpet those first few lessons). Music makes me vibrate with life and there is nothing in the entire world like being part of a band or choir, creating the beauty of music with fellow musicians.

Two of my kids, passionately and without coercion, jumping into two of my childhood life giving dreams in one month. My heart can hardly contain the depth of its joy! Happy days. :)          

Quote of the Day

Next Steps on my Healing Journey

Yesterday was another good day emotionally and physically. The pain spots are talking to me but not with the same volume. I had a full night's sleep on Friday which gave me the extra boost yesterday, even with the whispers.

As pain is releasing, my brain has some extra space to think about adding other healing help. I have fairly healthy eating patterns from my massive healing journey following our time in Africa. Seven years ago, upon return, without outside help from healing practitioners, I kicked chronic hives, adrenal fatigue, chronic candida, chronic ear infection, severe arthritic symptoms in my feet, hands, and shoulders, and I lost 85 pounds with whole foods and cleanses. Since the accident, I have only had the energy to maintain where I was, not add anything extra to my health regime.  

At the first acupuncture appointment, she suggested trying bone broth, home made root vegetable soups, and a candida cleanse. Three weeks ago, those suggestions would have made me go wailing all the way to my room to hide in the fetal position for a full day. I don't know if it was the gentle way she suggested it devoid of a bunch of how to's, or the instant trust I felt with her, or the timing in the journey, or the fact that none of what she said was unfamiliar to me, or all of it put together, but my whole being said, "YES! That is what's next." It felt easy and the Wind of Spirit was behind it. 

Two days later, I went to the farmer's market, got my grass fed beef bones for broth and colorful root veggies. I ordered the 4 month candida cleanse products and will start those next week. I've been drinking the broth all week and swear it is part of what is aiding the shift in my body, brain, and emotions.  Creator is genius. He made my body to heal. When I give it what it needs, it kicks in to full heal mode. Miraculous and awe inspiring! I haven't felt my whole being smile since the accident as frequently as I have this week. Feeling full of gratitude today!

This post is NOT to create guilt or pressure for anyone who is on a healing journey and these ideas make you want to run crying to your room to hide in the fetal position.  :-)  There is a time and season for everything. The Light shines on answers for our individual journey at the right moments for each of us. This section of my healing is reminding me that what I need always surfaces in a person, book, or intuitively at the very right time with the Wind of Spirit behind it to make it easy and workable to implement. When it feels like a heavy, overwhelming burden, something isn't quite right. It might just be a good idea at the wrong time. Just because someone suggests something to you, doesn't mean it's the right thing for you at that moment. Deep breath and simply keep your eyes open and your heart tuned in to what feels like the "right fit at the right time."